One of my friend's had asked to comment my views on what her friend had to say about marriage and role of women. She was talking about our Indian cultures and so I thought I would run a post.
Women are considered to play multiple roles in their lives as a daughter, a wife and a mother. They are brought up in most of the homes with views about life, sacrifice and service. They are mostly taught that their sole purpose of life is to serve her parents as a daughter, serve and support her husband as a wife and nurture and teach children about the values of life as a mother. Most of the women are happy to serve these purposes provided they are respected for thier roles. In a all happy situtation a daughter is considered equal to a son, a wife is considered to carry the same amount of burden while running a family and a mother is given the credit if her children become good citizens.
All goes wrong in other situations, a girl is pushed down just because she is a female. Boys are given more importance as the parents think that guys are the ones who will work and look after the parents later during their old age. The girl is always considered as an outsider as she will be getting married and living in a different house ultimately. Wives are considered as lifetime slaves with their sole purpose in life to serve their husband even if he treates her like shit. The women who is not happy in her marriage is always chided by thier parents or other women asking them to accept that its their ill fate and they need to adjust according to the needs of the husband.
Marriages are made in heaven and the kind of man or woman you get is considered as a matter of destiny. Although love marriages are happening, most still believe in arranged marriages. For them love happens after marriage. Marriages are believed to be a life long commitment which has to be continued till death. While the traditions teach both men and women equally about this fact, men always have an upper hand. From childhood most of the boys are brought up as kings with all the previlages. Girls are taught to be submissive from childhood and are expected to continue to do so during the rest of their life.
Times are changing where women are demanding equal rights and have walked out of unhappy marriages. But most of them are not respected if they do so, they believe the man was right but the woman was not capable enough to run the family. Anyways, people are becoming more educated, parents have noted that daughters care for them more than their sons and children have realised the roles of their mothers.
India is in a confused state of modernisation and clinging on to older values. While we believe in change and equal rights for women, when it comes to our own house, we expect the wife to serve and look after us even if they are dead tired after coming from work. They need to be treated in a better way and also applauded for their roles they serve in life. Men should make it a point to help them in handling the responsibilities of the house or if they cant do that, then should at least stop complaining. Lets see how well I do.. :)